💕 Attachment Style Test

Your attachment style is your pattern of connecting with others in close relationships. Take our free attachment style quiz above to discover if you're Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, or Fearful-Avoidant. Most people have one dominant style with traits from others.

The four attachment styles are: Secure (comfortable with intimacy and independence, ~50% of people), Anxious/Preoccupied (craves closeness, fears abandonment, ~20%), Avoidant/Dismissive (values independence, uncomfortable with intimacy, ~25%), and Fearful-Avoidant/Disorganized (wants closeness but fears it, ~5%).

Attachment styles develop in early childhood based on interactions with primary caregivers. Consistent, responsive caregiving leads to secure attachment. Inconsistent care can create anxious attachment, while emotional unavailability can lead to avoidant patterns. Trauma or frightening caregivers often result in fearful-avoidant attachment.

Attachment theory was developed by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s-60s and expanded by Mary Ainsworth. It explains how early bonds with caregivers shape our relationship patterns throughout life. The theory suggests our attachment style influences how we seek connection, handle intimacy, and respond to relationship stress.

Yes! Research shows attachment styles can change through self-awareness, therapy, and experiencing healthy relationships. While our early attachment creates a blueprint, it's not destiny. Many people with insecure attachment styles move toward secure attachment with intentional work, often called "earned secure attachment."

Yes, attachment styles can shift based on experiences. Someone anxious might develop avoidant traits after repeated rejection, using avoidance as self-protection. Similarly, an avoidant person might become more anxious with an unavailable partner. These shifts often indicate underlying fearful-avoidant tendencies.

No attachment style is inherently "worst" - each has challenges and strengths. However, fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment often causes the most relationship distress due to its push-pull dynamic. It typically requires the most healing work. Remember: all insecure styles can move toward security with effort and awareness.

Secure attachment is generally considered the healthiest style. Securely attached people can balance intimacy with independence, communicate needs effectively, and handle conflict constructively. About 50% of the population is securely attached. The good news: you can develop "earned secure" attachment through self-work and healthy relationships.

Anxious and avoidant types are often attracted to each other in a pattern called the "anxious-avoidant trap." The anxious partner's pursuit triggers the avoidant's withdrawal, which increases anxiety. Secure people can pair well with any style. Two anxious people may create intensity; two avoidants may drift apart from lack of connection.

Fearful-avoidant (disorganized) attachment is the rarest, affecting roughly 3-5% of the population. It typically develops when caregivers were both a source of comfort and fear. Secure attachment is most common (~50%), followed by avoidant (~25%) and anxious (~20%).

Yes! Most people have a primary attachment style with secondary tendencies. You might be primarily anxious but show avoidant traits in certain situations. Fearful-avoidant is essentially a combination of anxious and avoidant. Your style may also differ across relationships - more secure with friends, more anxious with romantic partners.

Your romantic attachment style shows how you behave in intimate relationships. It affects how you handle closeness, respond to conflict, communicate needs, and cope with separation. Take our quiz to discover your relationship attachment style and understand patterns you may have noticed in your dating or marriage history.

Love and attachment are related but different. Healthy love includes secure attachment plus respect, admiration, and choice. Anxious attachment can feel like intense love but is often driven by fear of abandonment. True love is secure - you want your partner, but you don't desperately need them to feel whole.

Signs of avoidant attachment include: discomfort with emotional intimacy, strong need for independence, difficulty relying on others, minimizing relationship importance, pulling away when partners get close, preferring casual relationships, and being described as "emotionally unavailable." Our quiz can help confirm if this is your style.

To identify your partner's style, observe: Do they seek closeness or distance? How do they handle conflict? Do they need reassurance (anxious) or space (avoidant)? Are they hot-and-cold (fearful-avoidant) or balanced (secure)? You can also share this quiz with them or take it answering as you think they would.

Knowing your attachment style helps you: understand relationship patterns, recognize triggers, communicate needs effectively, choose compatible partners, break unhealthy cycles, and work toward secure attachment. Self-awareness is the first step toward healthier relationships and personal growth.

There are 4 main attachment styles: Secure, Anxious (also called Preoccupied), Avoidant (also called Dismissive), and Fearful-Avoidant (also called Disorganized). Some models use 3 styles (grouping fearful-avoidant with avoidant). Research also identifies sub-patterns within each main style.

Secure attachment is the healthiest style. Securely attached individuals can: form deep bonds while maintaining identity, trust partners without excessive jealousy, communicate openly, handle disagreements constructively, and provide consistent support. If you're not naturally secure, you can develop "earned secure" attachment through awareness and practice.

Fearful-avoidant can be challenging due to its unpredictable push-pull dynamic. Avoidant attachment is often cited as difficult because emotional unavailability can feel like rejection. However, any insecure style can work in relationships with mutual awareness, communication, and commitment to growth. No one is "unlovable."

Yes! Our attachment style test is completely free with no registration, no email required, and instant results. We believe everyone deserves access to self-understanding tools. You can take the quiz unlimited times and share your results with friends or partners.

Online quizzes like ours are based on attachment theory research and provide good self-reflection insight. However, they're not clinical assessments. For the most accurate understanding, consider validated tools like the ECR-R (Experiences in Close Relationships) or working with a therapist trained in attachment theory.

Fearful-avoidant attachment involves wanting close relationships while simultaneously fearing them. People with this style often experienced caregivers who were both comforting and frightening. Signs include: push-pull relationship patterns, difficulty trusting, intense but unstable relationships, and feeling torn between craving and fearing intimacy.

Anxious (preoccupied) attachment involves a strong desire for closeness combined with fear of abandonment. Signs include: needing frequent reassurance, sensitivity to partner's moods, fear of rejection, difficulty being alone, tendency to overanalyze relationships, and sometimes appearing "clingy." It often develops from inconsistent childhood caregiving.

Avoidant (dismissive) attachment involves discomfort with closeness and a strong preference for independence. Signs include: difficulty depending on others, minimizing the importance of relationships, keeping emotional distance, preferring self-reliance, and pulling away when partners seek closeness. It often develops when caregivers were emotionally unavailable.

Healing insecure attachment involves: 1) Awareness - understanding your patterns, 2) Therapy - especially attachment-focused or psychodynamic, 3) Healthy relationships - secure partners can help heal old wounds, 4) Self-compassion - understanding your style developed for good reasons, 5) Practice - gradually trying new behaviors that feel uncomfortable at first.